children's mental health Archives

Helping a child notice their inner voice

November 20, 2020 By Zoe Ross Leave a Comment

What is an inner voice?

As humans, we all have an inner voice. It’s the one that talks to us in our minds and helps us to make decisions and complete tasks. For example, “Hmmm…what do I need to take to school today?”, “I wonder what’s for lunch today?”,”Don’t forget your pencil case!”.

Our inner voice can be helpful and sometimes it can be critical. i.e. “Oh no, I forgot my pencil case. You idiot!”. This critical inner voice can call us names, tell us we’re a failure or we’re not good at something and shouldn’t even try. If we listen to this critical inner dialogue too much, it can influence how we feel, think and behave. So we might form negative beliefs about ourselves and our ability to do something, which might lead to us to not doing it, not trying, or giving up.

Why is it helpful for a child to notice their inner voice?

Having awareness of the inner voice is a really important part of behaviour therapy, however it’s also very helpful for us all in looking after our mental health and wellbeing. We’re so used to it being there that we often don’t even notice it, but we can learn to tune into it and if necessary, take less notice of the critical things it tells us.

Becoming aware of our inner voice is a really important first step and it’s a skill that children (and adults!) can learn. It can be a tricky concept for some children. However, often with a little bit of patience and practice, most children (research suggests over the age of around 7) can learn to be aware of and notice their inner voice.

These tips can help you to help a child notice their inner voice:

Ways to help a child notice their inner voice

Normalise it – we all have an inner voice; an ‘always on’ dialogue that is going on in our heads.
Call it whatever works – it could be ‘your thinking’, ‘your mind’, ‘the voice in your head’, ‘your chatterbox’ etc.
It can help to explain that the inner voice is always there – it’s like a radio, talking away in our head and telling us what is happening, or about to happen, or reminding us of what did happen.
Help them to understand it can take practice and time to be aware of and focus on it – don’t put pressure on them, or yourself, but do give it a few tries before you give up.
You could ask them to sing their favourite song in their head, or do a simple sum – were they able to ‘hear’ themselves? That’s their inner voice.
Do exercises to tune in together – experiment to see if you can find what your thinking voice is saying (see exercise below)
1. Firstly, create the right atmosphere to ‘tune in’ – make sure you are in a quiet, calm place with no distractions and the young person is engaged.
2. Invite them to take a ‘mindful’ moment before you start (ie feet on the floor, back straight, close their eyes if they want, or look at a spot on the floor, take some breaths in and let it out).
3. See if they can just ‘tune in’ to what they are thinking and notice their thoughts (in their head or out loud)
4. Model noticing your thinking…”I’m thinking that this room is a bit cold” / “I’m thinking that the spot on the floor I’m looking at is dirty”.
5. Invite them to just notice what their thinking mind is saying/doing – there is no right or wrong, this is just about being aware and noticing.
6. Remind them it takes practice, so keep it short and encourage any noticing at all.

Helping children to understand and manage their inner voice is an important part of our Mind Moose online programme. Find out more how it could help you if you work in a school, or are a parent.

6 Ways to Help Children Develop Positive Body Image

May 9, 2019 By Zoe Ross

Positive body image: Mental Health Awareness Week 2019

The w/c 13th May is Mental Health Awareness Week with the theme of body image. We know that helping children to develop positive body image important topic for many Mind Moose schools and families, so this blog post explores 6 practical ways parents can help their children develop positive body image.

Why care about positive body image?

Body image is often a hot topic, especially in light of the ever increasing tv, magazine and social media platforms and the ways these can and are accessed by our children. It can be very easy for children -as well as adults- to absorb the information portrayed as “reality” and this can have a knock on negative effect on their own self esteem and confidence.

The good thing is that there are plenty of ways that we can try and counteract that at home with normalising different body shapes and concentrating on fitness and health rather than unrealistic physical appearance. Below are some examples of ways in which we can try to provide a more body positive culture for our children at home.

Like everything, children learn most by the behaviour that is modelled to them. Try to be aware of your own language about your own bodies as well as others. This is not always easy and may require a big shift in your own mindset as well.

Tips to support positive body image

Here are 6 tips that could help you to support your child:

1.Refer to bodies in positive terms that focus on health, strength and capabilities, rather than weight. Try hard to refer to your own body in positive terms, especially in front of children and if you are if making changes to your own eating plan, rather than talking about wanting to go on a diet to lose weight, think about using phrases such as, “eating healthier foods to get fitter/stronger” etc.

2. Try to have magazines/books etc around the home and watch programmes that have images of a variety of ‘real’ body shapes rather than the often unrealistic bodies often shown in fashion magazines and some reality programs. You can discuss in an age-appropriate way how magazines, websites and social media often show images of bodies (and faces!) that have been altered in some way.

3. Allow your children to hear you say positive comments about others that do not refer to how they look but what their bodies can do; e.g. “wow look how strong her legs are to kick that football so hard”, or positive personality traits; e.g. “Uncle John is such a good friend, he listens to me when I need to talk”.

4. Try not to refer to food as ‘good’ and ‘bad’, or ‘treats’. Focus instead on eating a healthy, balanced diet that fuels your own and your children’s bodies. Eating in moderation is healthy and restricting certain foods and labelling them as ‘bad’, can sometimes cause issues for children when they grow up.

5. Try to model the importance of exercise, again focusing on positives such as health, strength, meeting new people, getting fresh air, having fun etc, rather than linking it to weight. Where possible spend time as a family doing some form of fun exercise. Walks in the park, playing “tig” or catch, kicking a football, turning the radio up and having a disco in the kitchen! It doesn’t have to involve lots of money or equipment – try different things and see what works for you as a family.

6. Try to compliment your child on personality traits rather than physical traits; e.g. “You were very kind sharing your crayons today”, or, “It was great the way you thought through that problem and came up with a solution”. Be careful to talk about your child’s body in positive terms – our body positive cards are a good place to start!